I love this time of year. The Apprentice starts and its easily one of my favourite shows of the spring season.

Unlike last year’s post here, I’l be creating a separate website for the #ApprenticeTweepstake very soon. Until then, here is the list of twitter users in the order they applied, with a random choosing using Random.org (evidence below).

@SebWhite – Laura Hogg
@DapDapBabii – Nick Holzherr
@littlerachyb – Katie Wright
@CherryBow_x – Azhar Siddique
@elliewyant – Gabrielle Omar
@QuigTheDude – Stephen Brady
@dduthie1 – Jane McEvoy
@rubycadillac – Duane Bryan
@sofiejenkinson – Tom Gearing
@GoldbarsDJ – Michael Copp
@thelastskeptik – Ricky Martin
@RishiHindocha – Jenna Whittingham
@hectorthedog – Maria O’Connor
@chlobo_ – Bilyana Apostolova
@sophielou512 – Jade Nash
@JenWof – Adam Corbally

The winner receives 500,000 Seb Points™, as well as a drink or two from me. Also the pride of being the winner. It’s just a bit of fun! So good luck!

So anyway, email discussion with friends about it – We’re starting with my favourite film of all time, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. A friend of mine, Dom Fisher infact, replies with a list of films he wants to see. On his list is Groundhog Day, Back to the Future and Gremlins, which luckily for him are already on the list. He also mentioned Short Circuit 1 which is a great shout, but also Star Wars.

Star Fucking Wars. It’s always been the turning point in friendships I’ve had in the past.

You’ve never seen Star Wars? What is wrong with you?

Now I get that, I act that way over Ferris… but Star Wars? Really? I was always more of a Star Trek fan as a kid, and even though it bores the shit out of me now, I’d prefer to watch a classic Star Trek film over Star Wars any day… AT THE MOMENT.

What’s my excuse? I’m not ready for it yet.

You ‘eard. I’m just not ready for it yet. There are some things I am saving for a rainy day. I only just got around to watch Spaced a couple of weeks ago. The reason? I knew that I’d like it, so wanted to wait for it. It’s called PACING YOURSELF.

Don’t judge me because I’ve not got round to watch Star Wars yet, or that I’ve never tried carrots. Some things I think are better with a bit of anticipation.

Seb.

(P.S. I totally eat carrots all the time, I just don’t really want to watch Star Wars so leave me alone.)

Reading it I expect to see OR SUTIN at the end of the comment and it being good old Adam Buxton being funny. No. Although probably a troll, reading the comments on Chris Brown’s videos are worrying, surely not EVERYONE can be trolling? Some of them actually have to be stupid fucking idiots that are okay with what Chris has done?

As soon as one of the non-troll, non-idiots comments, there is of course a backlash.

Now, whatever – there are dumb people all over the world. We get it. What I don’t get is that why he is allowed to play the Grammy’s, only two awards after he pulled out the night before for the incident. I could go on about it, but I tweeted about the article on Hello Giggles* that I fully agree with, and I think you should go and read now. Go on, I’l wait for you…

READ THE HELLO GIGGLES ARTICLE.

…done? Welcome back. So yeah, he’s playing the Grammy’s and whatever. Even though I don’t like it and I don’t agree with it, I lied earlier as I know why he’s allowed to play… He’s back and bigger than ever and all the dumb people with short attention spans love him. Great.

Here is the reason I am blogging, and the thing I really don’t understand: WHY DO PEOPLE AIR HIM? I live in the UK, and I am proud that we denied him a work visa. but that’s it. The only other person in the media (as far as I know) who has gone out of their way to make sure they don’t give him any airtime is – surprisingly for some – Chris Moyles.

When Chimpunk released Champion featuring Chris Brown he didn’t want to play it on air, so got his female sports reader Tina Daheley to replace his lyrics.

Now, I don’t know how he’s done with other songs, and I honestly don’t know if anyone else has done anything about it, but it makes me uneasy that no-one else has publicly done anything about it.

Currently on the Radio 1 playlist (at Sunday 12 Feb) Chris Brown is on featuring in Pitbull’s track International Love. Now, I don’t want to compare domestic abuse with child abuse – but I’m going to.

Anyone is frowned upon for playing Gary Glitter, even though some of his songs are pretty good AND he sold the rights to a lot of them ages ago so wouldn’t get royalties from them… Does someone have to look at naked children to get shunned like this? HE LOOKED AT PICTURES. CHRIS BROWN HIT HIS GIRLFRIEND IN THE FACE.

I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. but in summary: Just that I fucking hate the state of the media machine where people can’t defend Rhianna as was explained on Hello Giggles, but also that the media, the UK media, will not act to shun his music and stop it from being aired.

A couple of days ago Chris Brown tweeted this:

Can I wow you?

— Chris Brown(@chrisbrown) February 9, 2012

A: No. Now fuck off you utter fucking cunt.

EDIT: After sharing this post on my Facebook was linked to this video by Joe from Lighthouses. This is what we want and need more of please.

If you have any suggestions for internet clichés you think I should fulfil, then please let me know. I want your ideas.

As you can see from her blog: Paris, j’taime Klee and I had an amazing time in Paris. Very fun and the break was ruddy needed. I’m not going to reblog what she already has, so here is a little video I made from stuff filmed whilst over there on NYE and NYD.

If you like the tune, find out about it here.

I hope you had a great new years whatever you did. Bring on 2012, the sporty bastard of a year.

Since it’s been so long, I decided it’s about time I ventured on a train and went all the way to see Klee in Newcastle! Luckily, I love lonely train journeys.

The Quayside in Newcastle is stunning, at day and night. The Gateshead Millennium Bridge is gorgeous all lit up, alongside The Sage…

Being able to walk under the Tyne Bridge is just awe inspiring. Walking along Tower Bridge in london is something, but it’s weird being able to walk UNDER the Tyne Bridge, it’s gorgeous.

Speaking of awe inspiring, one of my favourite modern artists is Antony Gormley, so there was no way in hell I was visiting Newcastle without seeing the angel.

It’s just gorgeous. Surprisingly smaller than I imagined which is a bit of a disappointment on first inspection, but after a few seconds, I was over it and just took in the magnificent Angel Of The North.

Tyneside Cinema based at Monument were showing retro christmas films, and were showing Home Alone! We didn’t get in as they were sold out (I was a very sad sebby at that moment) but not all was lost, because NE1 were showing films at the momument with deck chairs and blankets under marquees facing a big screen. We watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation!

I couldn’t come to Newcastle this close to Christmas without popping into the Metro Centre to do some christmas shopping! It was huge. Someone remind me that I hate shopping centres next year please.

That being said, walking up and down Newcastle’s streets, there is one reoccurring thing I kept seeing… GREGGS. They are ruddy EVERYWHERE. Literally in every shopping centre (of which there are millions), but also on every street, market – just everywhere. I did however find one special Greggs that doesn’t do pasties or sausage rolls… The Greggs Moments cafe!

On the day I left, I spent some time around Klee’s house which means I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH HER CUTE DOG LOUIE OMG SO CUTE.

If you are thinking about going to Newcastle, then I thoroughly recommend it. Just make sure you’re wrapped up warm.

I have one bit of advice: avoid Very.co.uk – if you’re shopping for something that is easily or highly faked.

Why do I say this? Well, good question. I’ve been shopping with Very for almost two years now. Up until very recently I’ve been very happy with the customer service. I’ve bought a bike, playstation, blackberry, suit, jeans and other things from Very and been very happy with the service the provided.

For the last few months I’ve been craving to buy some Dr Dre Beats headphones (I’m a wanker, I know). I ordered some from Very. Some white studio beats for £299. THESE in fact.

Once ordered, I was VERY excited about receiving them! Now, unlike the most things that come from Very in what I would imagine to be a central warehouse, these weren’t going to take the usual very speedy delivery of a day or two, these were going to take 11 days to arrive. Why? Because as one customer service agent said on the phone, they ‘had to come from an external distributor’.

When they arrived, first thing I did was get the all turned on, made sure they worked… They sounded great. Now, the iPhone inline remote… That did…n’t work. What? Why doesn’t the iPhone remote thingy work? Let me try to make a call with it. I called Klee, and she couldn’t hear me at all. Just a loud hiss. I tried a few times to no avail.

What? Come to think about the box was a tiny bit beaten when I got it, maybe it’s not because it came in a bigger box with no bubble wrap, but maybe it’s because they were refurbished? Nah! Very wouldn’t do that… So I got googling and found this page: the Beats by Dr Dre Verify Before You Buy page.

So I entered the serial number in there and WHAT? BOOM:

Just ridiculous.

I am unable to confirm if the headphones that Very sent me are counterfeits or not, and I was unwilling to send them to Beats as I wanted my money back and thanks to distance selling laws I have 14 days to return. But if this website is to be believed, then Very need to be worried about their distributors/suppliers.

Now, this should be the end of the post here? yes? NO. I am frustrated about Very because of their delivery service, YODEL.

I thought my main gripe with YODEL was that their delivery time is between 7am and 7pm. THEY GIVE THEMSELVES A 12 HOUR WINDOW. If you want special delivery, then you get between 7am and 12pm. I ordered something on special delivery once – it came at 6pm.

But no, it’s that they use the excuse of Christmas to be bone idle fucking lazy. I arranged for the suspected counterfeit Beats headphones to be picked up on Tuesday (anytime between 7am and 7pm) so I stayed home on tuesday, cancelled meetings… and they didn’t turn up, at all. So I reorganised my return date for Thursday (anytime between 7am and 7pm) and once again stayed home, cancelled meetings – AND THEY DIDN’T TURN UP AGAIN.

Last night I felt a bit sick, so I came back early (at about 7pm) and guess what? Without booking a return slot, Yodel turned up at around 7:45pm.

WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? Obviously not a serious company that looks after their customers. How about this – if you don’t have the resources to deliver what you say you can, then don’t agree to the work. There was and still is no sign of Very apologising for this complete fuck up, let alone finding a reason from YODEL.

When I called Very on Friday night to confirm that Yodel had picked up the package, I was told that the reason they didn’t come Tuesday or Thursday, and turned up on a Friday night when I was actually bound to be out, was that YODEL are concentrating on delivering Christmas gifts and putting returns at the back of the priority list.

BACK OF THE PRIORITY LIST? Not only is that saying they don’t care if they, or their customers are getting their monies worth from YODEL, but it’s also leaving thinking open to the idea that they might want to inconvenience customers so that they run out of time to return goods. Especially goods that are expensive.

I don’t think that is the case, but I don’t want to believe that Very has over the last year gone from my favourite online retailer for customer service, to a retailer that I now actively want to boycott.

Klee and I are obsessed with this advert. Every time we see it we text each other with “WINTAH :(“… Have a look at the advert here. I just LOVE it.

In other news I’ve been busting my new winter jumper out and about. Not really note worthy but I did buy it in Forever 21, which is the biggest, glitteriest, pile of wank. Isn’t it?

We went dahn Brick Lane and walked around Spitalfields market, we didn’t buy anything (although I wanted to buy a hunter waistcoat for £15 – Klee wouldn’t let me.)

I surprised her with going to the Zoo. We saw the penguin feeding time. LOTS OF FISH.

We had a little picnic nearby to a canal and used shoes as bottle holders, which yes was my genius idea (using my stupid shoes)…

We went down for a stroll through Camden, I cooked a lovely Spinach and Feta Filo Pie (which was gorgeous btw, I am an amazing host). It was all, as apparently the cockneys say, cushty.

On the following Monday we went to Klee’s friends birthday celebrations where another of Klee’s friends Liv and I pull faces in some photos. I LOVE THESE PHOTOS. I just love pulling faces. Klee’s mega lazer eyes of death were a bit worrying though…

So anyway, the reason for blogging is to let you know I’m alive, rather happy, and rediscovered that I like pulling faces.